I am ecstatic!

I have so many things to be ecstatic today:

1. I have already recovered from 4 days of flu. I was bedridden totally. I did nothing but sleep the whole day. It was so boring.

2. I have my period. No explanations needed. Just congratulate me. God is good.

3. My first day of class for Finman and my crush sat beside me and we were giggling the whole time while the professor was doing some explanations on the subject (i'm taking up masteral studies). Take note, I am already 27 years old, I think I'm too old to have a giggly moment with my crush. It was a different feeling. It was like I was taken back to my highschool days. Whenever his skin brushes into mine, there was electricity! I didn't know it could really happen! And I didn't even have any lust ideas or feelings that time (knowing myself, if I like a guy, I would undress him with my eyes), it was PURE CRUSH. Gosh! I feel like a teenager right now!

Another thing that amazed me tonight: I was torpe with this particular guy. Usually, I will let my charms do the talking. I am not really shy when I'm talking to guys. But with him, I was like smiling coyly while he crack some lame jokes. Even if it was lame, I smiled. And not just a polite smile, but a genuine smile. Gosh! the effect of this guy on me. And while in class, he was in his navy uniform. How I love guys in uniforms!

Its already 12:30am and I'm still hyper. Nothing can piss me off tonight.

PMS

Pre-Menstrual Symptoms....

Depression, frustration, moody, mainit ang ulo, masakit ang puson, always craving for food, sensitive...lahat na lang nafe-feel ko ngayon, and it is not good...

Actually, I'm drowning with my own sadness...alam mo yung feeling na sa sobrang kalungkutan para kang nalulunod at gusto mo lang makahinga? I always dream of falling in a dark bottomless pit and I hate it, everytime I wake up, I always gulp for fresh air. That's what I'm feeling right now.

Ang naiisip ko ngayon is yung ginawa sa kin ng ex ko. He cheated behind my back. I trusted him, and he cheated me. Dati kapag may gusto akong lalaki and malalaman ko na may gf siya, sasabihin ko lang sa mga friends ko "GF lang pala eh". Now that I have experienced it, na sobrang sakit ng iwanan ka at magmukha kang tanga, I give my respect to those current girlfriends out there. Mahirap bantayan ang taong mahal mo. Hindi mo naman pwedeng ikulong na lang sila sa luob ng bahay or lagyan ng harang yung mata nila para hindi sila makakatingin sa ibang babae. Tama nga yung kasabihan na "If you love a person, set him/her free", kung mahal ka talaga nya, babalik siya sayo.

It's been a year and I can't seem to move on...Damn! gusto ko na mag-move on. Actually, I never even asked my ex what really happened. He only told me that he met a girl and I never asked him to explain what happened. I really do not want to know. Makaka-move on kaya ako if ever nalaman ko yung buong story? Ang sakit-sakit magmahal. Call me melodramatic, I really don't care. It's traumatic. Parang ayoko ng magmahal pa kung lolokohin din lang naman ako.

Damn! how I really hate PMS..

Harry Potter Book 7

I am done reading JK Rowling's Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and I can say that the book was well written...there's suspense, drama and a little bit of comedy, I am quite sure that the person who is reading the book will be totally engrossed with the story. I am a fan of Harry Potter (but not the obsessed type), I opt to read the book rather than watch the movie...Whenever there's a new book released, I usually read the last book first and then I proceed with the recent book so as to refresh my memory. Anyway, here are my comments on the storyline:

1. What happened with the Dursleys? - Yeah I know they are not the good guys here but of course the readers would also like to know where they headed and what happened to them after they disapparated with Dedalus Diggle, right?

2. What happened with the other Death Eaters after Harry defeated Voldemort? - The author should have mentioned something about the future of the Death Eaters after Harry defeated Voldemort. Where they thrown back to Azkaban? Did they disapparated and migrated to other countries to avoid the Ministry of Magic or whatever. The author should have elaborated a little bit more with the Malfoy's..Narcissa, in a way helped Harry because she wanted to know whether Draco is still alive and still inside Hogwarts.

3. James and Lily Potter - on the last book of the HP series, the author should have mentioned about Harry's parents, what they did for living, what they did for the Order or whatever before Voldemort killed them..Just like when Harry read his mother's letter to Sirius, it was a "proof that Lily existed".

4. What happened to Hogwarts, Ministry of Magic, Azkaban, etc - What happened to these places after Voldemort was killed? The author just fast forwarded the story after 19 years...I was left hanging there really..

5. The story was fast forwarded way too long (19 years to be exact). What happened to Harry-Ginny lovestory? When did they came back together? How bout Ron & Hermione? It was mentioned on the previous books that there was this romantic tension between this 2 characters. It was mentioned on the 7th book that Hermione kissed Ron because Ron mentioned something about the house-elves wherein Hermione was happy about it. AND THAT WAS IT. I mean the author should have spiced up the story a little bit right?

6. What happened with the Weasleys? - What happened with Harry's 2nd family? I think it was Fred who died while fighting the death eaters, what happened with the rest of the Weasleys (Charlie, Bill, and Percy)?

7. Right after Voldemort was defeated, what happened to Harry? Did he finished his schooling at Hogwarts? What was his job after Hogwarts, that is, if he finished his 7th year? Did he became an Auror? As a fan of Harry, I would also like to know what happened to him right after his victory. I want details about his wedding with Ginny..

Those were just my questions about the 7th book...In general I LOVE THE BOOK...I've been reading the 7th book again so I could relish Harry's memory...

Well, that's about it for the mean time..

SE weekend

Last weekend, I went on a retreat with a friend, its a singles encounter actually..well, that's the first retreat that came across that's why we grabbed the chance..

At first I find it really corny with all the singing (with matching hands raising to praise Him) and the dancing...don't get me wrong, I am a Catholic, I went to a Catholic school eversince my elementary days so I'm used to having retreats...but not this kind of retreat...I guess they catered it to the youth that's why there a lot of singing and dancing to keep our eyes open..sometimes retreat can be very boring if your heart is not into it.S



Anyway, our group, SE13 (batch 13) is really big, I think we are around 60+ pax! I was shy during that weekend, according to my batchmate...we are on an INTROVERT MODE...During that time I find it hard to mingle with my batchmates, my sales skills were not working believe me...I was the demure type (if my friends saw me that weekend, for sure they will laugh their hearts out)...



There were a lot of singing and praising and dancing...a lot of group activities. I thought I would be able to relax a little bit but I was dead wrong! We were required to wake up around 5:30am and we'll finish around 1:00am...My brain was not working that weekend...Saturday morning, i woke up around 5:30am and we sang praise to the Lord around 6am! So I felt like someone placed a loud song in my ears to wake me up! I felt irritated actually...I was not irritated that I was praising the Lord, I was pissed off because it was so noisy..hehehe...

On our last day, there was an activity wherein we will be annointed by the elders...and that's where I lost control of my emotions and I cried...I guess I let out all the feelings that I have kept in my heart for a very long time...All the hurt and the pain, all I've went through these past few months...I asked Him to take it all away from me...and believe me HE DID. Coincidence? I don't think so...I've been wanting to go to a retreat since last year and I've been procrastinating about it for a very long time...He really did make a way for me to make ammends with Him...Okay, I know it's corny talking about this kind of stuff...but I'm not ashamed, I just want to share my experience that weekend...It was really great...PLUS I made some new friends and new yosi buddies...hehehe

Enneagram test

I've learned about Enneagram test from a schoolmate in graduate school. She told me that it is a personality test, so you'll know what type of leader you are. She took this test when she was taking up Leader subject...Anyway, I tried taking the test and I'm a Type 3 (Achiever) which has the tendency to be a Type 2 (Helper)..

Enneagram Type 3 - The Achiever

Focused on the presentation of success, to attain validation

People of this personality type need to be validated in order to feel worthy; they pursue success and want to be admired. They are frequently hard working, competitive and are highly focused in the pursuit of their goals, whether their goal is to be the most successful salesman in the company or the "sexiest" woman in their social circle. They are often "self-made" and usually find some area in which they can excel and thus find the external approbation which they so desperately need. Threes are socially competent, often extroverted, and sometimes charismatic. They know how to present themselves, are self-confident, practical, and driven. Threes have a lot of energy and often seem to embody a kind of zest for life that others find contagious. They are good networkers who know how to rise through the ranks. But, while Threes do tend to succeed in whatever realm they focus their energies, they are often secretly afraid of being or becoming "losers."

Threes can sometimes find intimacy difficult. Their need to be validated for their image often hides a deep sense of shame about who they really are, a shame they unconsciously fear will be unmasked if another gets too close. Threes are often generous and likable, but are difficult to really know. When unhealthy, their narcissism takes an ugly turn and they can become cold blooded and ruthless in the pursuit of their goals.

Because it is central to the type Three fixation to require external validation, Threes often, consciously and unconsciously, attempt to embody the image of success that is promoted by their culture. Threes get in trouble when they confuse true happiness, which depends on inner states, with the image of happiness which society has promoted. If a Three has a "good" job and an "attractive" mate, she might be willing, through an act of self-deception which is also self-betrayal, to ignore the inner promptings which tell her that neither her job, nor her mate are fulfilling her deeper needs. Even the most "successful" Threes, who generally appear quite happy, often hide a deeply felt sense of meaninglessness. The attainment of the image never quite satisfies.

Threes can sometimes mistype themselves when they mistake the more superficial features of their personalities as indicators of their type. So, for instance, an intellectual Three might mistype as a Five; a Three who is devoted to her role as mother might think she is a Two; a Three in a leadership position might mistype as an Eight and so on. Regardless of the manifestation however, the core of the type Three fixation is the deep need for external validation.

Taken from: http://healing.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?zi=1/XJ/Ya&sdn=healing&cdn=religion&tm=24&f=10&tt=-2&bt=1&bts=1&zu=http%3A//www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/test.php

I have highlighted some sentences which I find very true. I find this test very interesting..

so pissed off

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today...

I went to Caltex to pump petrol and I wanted to have my radiator and my reservoir checked if there's still water to avoid overheating...The gas boy REFUSED to check my radiator!!!! He said that they were not allowed anymore to check radiators of cars because of increased staff accidents....Was it my fault if they are so stupid whenever they check it???? So I fought for my right to have it checked cause the gauge indicates that my temperature is increasing....I irrated and asserted that it is my right as a customer to have it checked if I wanted to...I WON THE BATTLE...

Next, I called up UPS (courier) to book my pick-up...I was in Sta. Rosa Laguna and I have decided to drop by their drop-off center instead...when I went there, it was closed...I found out that the person operating their drop-off center is the one who does the pick-up and the delivery as well!! So...I called up their hotline again to arrange a meet-and-pick up schedule. Since I will be working in Figaro, might as well wait for the courier to have my parcel picked-up...guess what the operator told me? She said they do not allow meet-and-pick up arrangements because they dont want their customer to wait...what the hell are they thinking about???? I'M THE CLIENT, I SUGGESTED THAT I WILL WAIT FOR THE COURIER...WHAT THE HELL IS THEIR PROBLEM NOW???? After 15 minutes of explaining and shouting at the same time, I WON THE BATTLE....

Lastly, I went to Starbucks so I could start my work...I asked if they have WIFI, the barista told me they do not have it yet....My gosh! they are the only starbucks that I know that doesn't have WIFI...I didn't argue anymore, what's there to argue anyway?

Oh man...my day really didn't start right...I hope it ends well

Lacoste bags

When I was in highschool, I've always wanted to buy and own a Lacoste bag, the original one of course!! (there are lots of fake Lacoste bags in Greenhills). But since I was only a student and I don't have a money of my own, I have to let go of my dream...for the meantime..

When I started working, I started collecting Lacoste items, bags, pouches, keychains, perfumes, but most of the time I invest in bags...actually, I'm a sucker for big bags...other girls are shoes addicts, but not me, I'm into bags...My last purchase of Lacoste bag was their limited edition. I bought it after me and my ex-boyfriend broke up, hehehehe...


Please excuse the background picture of the bag, my room is a mess!!! I also love their navy blue and green combination design but my friends told me that this color is better because it is more feminine or lady-like. But I like the other color, I just bought this color out of peer-pressure, hahaha.

As I have said, I'm into big bags (classic ones) and not those small kikay bags...I like bags where I can put all my stuff in it...My friends always complain about the weight of my bag. They always ask me why do I always bring all my stuff wherever I go..I really don't know the answer to be honest, I feel that if I don't bring all of my stuff, there's something missing.

But my goal for this year is to buy small stylish bags (kikay bags)...I want to get out of my comfort zone, I usually buy bags which has the classic design, now I want to buy stylish bags...One of my short term goals also is to buy Kate Spade bag which is soooo expensive...but I'll be saving my money for it...My promise to myself is that I should be able to buy Kate Spade bag before I get married, hahahaha.

Shopping galore in Malaysia

Whew I'm so tired today...my feet are killing me...i've bought some items today for myself and my sister...VNC shoes here in Malaysia are sooooo cheap!!! 50% cheaper compared to Philippines!!! I bought 2 pair of shoes for me (office shoes and a very comfy flat sandals)...My office shoes cost me around Php800 and my sandals around Php250 only!!! Boy I'm so lucky...not only that I bought and ELLE sunglasses and GUESS eyeglasses for only Php8400 (total price for the two pairs!)...If i buy in the Philippines, i can only buy one pair for that price! what a bargain!!!




Well the reason why they are so cheap its because its Melaka's Mega Sale Carnival, all shops are on sale (this sale is applicable to all malls!)...talk about great timing!

By the way, last night my boss brought me to this local place where they sell SATAY CELUK...the taste is fantastic! here's the concept...there are seafoods, meatballs, fish cake, etc on stick and then they have this peanut-based sauce that tastes sweet and spicy (but not too spicy take note)..it taste really good! If i only know how to cook, I would have start a small restaurant business for this type of food...I'm sure it will click in the Philippines...

That's it for now i guess...

I'm already here in Melacca, Malaysia...I arrived around 11:30pm because my flight was 4:50pm and the travel time took us 3 hours and 20 minutes...but of course flight was delayed and i've waited 15 minutes for my luggage to arrive.

Training was okay, the difficult part was I have to walk the whole day around the plant, standing and talking to locals who are not good in English. I thought my 2-inch heels was comfortable enough to last me the week but my feet gave up...

I'm here inside the hotel room (City Bayview Hotel), the only channel that I like here was Star Movies they have no cable, all channels are speaking in Malay!!! Damn! they don't even have HBO here so I have to settle for Star Movies...

I've tried their chicken rice and golf balls (golf balls are also chicken rice but the rice are shaped into circles as big as golf balls, hence the name). The taste is so good! They say the rice was cooked in chicken broth and they put butter...it was so tasty...u can eat the rice alone!

Anyway, enough of my adventures...I have to go and meet my boss in 30 minutes..

Plane rides

I really hate plane rides...actually, I just hate the take off and the touch down (I'm sorry I forgot the term) of the plane...In between that, it's okay for me..I feel like my heart stops their beat for a second or two, the feeling is similar when I'm a riding a caterpillar (oh yes, i'm a scared piece of shit when it comes to rides..oh and by the way, caterpillar is a small version of a roller coaster)..I HATE IT..

Another thing that I hate when I'm flying is the turbulence..it really hurts my ears!!! oh man!

My flight is this afternoon...and I'll be travelling alone...I'm really scared...

Friends TV series

I have always love to watch "Friends"...the actors never fail to make me laugh my heart out...as in NEVER...I remember when I used to watch Friends and I laughed really really loud..to the point that my neighbors can hear me laughing..and then my mom would buzz the intercom and asked me to shut my mouth...I don't care...hehehe...

Anyway, I found this on YouTube..thanks to the guy who recorded these videos. Bloopers for Season 10 of Friends...Enjoy!!!



This is part 2 of the bloopers for season 10



Enjoy everyone!

I'm going to Malaysia!

I'm going to Malaysia this Sunday for a one-week training in my employer's factory in Melaka. After my training, I'll go straight to my holiday in Genting Island. They say its nice up there, the weather is good, they've got theme parks, a big casino and a resort hotel.


I'm sorry I wasn't able to search on a bigger picture of Genting Island..don't worry I'll be bringing my digicam with me so I'll be posting pictures after my trip.

Supposedly, my parents and sister will follow me in Genting Island however the plan got all mixed up and I think I'll be going on a holiday alone. It was really crazy, at first I was scared to have my holiday alone but when I psyched myself up that it'll be an adventure for me, my parents decided to join me. After checking the schedule in a travel agency, they say they can't go because my schedule was mixed up. Grrrr!!!!

Anyway, I hope I'll have an exciting holiday in Genting.

An acquaintance has been constantly sending me SMS proposing that he'll be my casual sex partner...everyday he's been texting me the advantages of having a casual sex partner. I have to admit that his offer is very tempting...he's got a nice body..really nice...rock hard abs...actually, he's offering that we should do it first and if we clicked then good for us...he keeps on asking me to trust him. I have issues on trust..my last boyfriend cheated on me that's why i'm really having a hard time trusting men.

He's a yuppie. He's an IT systems engineer in Makati. That's all I know about him.

I'm still thinking about it though...I'm still considering his proposal. But I'm scared...I don't want a fuck buddy. I want a serious relationship. I'm scared to take risks. I don't want to get hurt again. I'm already 27 years old, I'm tired of having flings. I want to settle down someday. How could I settle down if I still keep on engaging on flings?

Should I take the risk with this guy? I really don't know. It's tempting but I'm really scared.

I just love this video of Incubus...Just a phase...

Incubus rocks!!!!

Guys are just after sex

Guys are just after the sex...

These past few days, I've dated guys who just wants to be laid...It's really pissing me off..I'm after a serious relationship but the guys are after casual sex...Are there any good guys left in this world??? There are guys who will at first butter you up (saying sweet nonsense, making bola here and there...) and then you'll realize that his main objective is to get his hands inside your pants. There are some guys who will bluntly say it to your face that they just want to have sex with you..Perverts...

Like a while ago, an acquaintance sent me an SMS and made a blunt proposal...he wants to be my fuck buddy...as blunt as that.

I just want someone who I can share my feelings with. Someone I could drink beer with, or share my joys and sadness...Someone I could laugh with silly things, or daydream with. I'm not a hard person to please, I just want to have a serious relationship right now.

Pedestal...

Sabi ng mga guy friends ko, may 2 categories daw ang mga babae..pang-seryosohan at pang-kama..

Para sa akin, may 2 categories din ang mga lalaki...pang-pedestal at pang-kama...

Sa 27 na taon na kong nabubuhay dito sa mundong to, 3 lalaki pa lang ang trinato kong pedestal...Kapag sinabi kong pang-pedestal, eto yung kapag nakikita ko sila ndi ko sila pinag-iisipan ng masama. As in yung feeling ko is high-school crush ko sila. Kapag nakikita ko sila, mag-hi or hello lang sila sa kin eh sobrang kinikilig na ko. Ni hindi ko sila pinag-iisipan na nagki-kiss kami or nag-mamake love. Pure and innocent admiration talaga. Hindi ko alam na pwede pa palang mangyari sa kin eto akala ko pang-highschool lang...gusto kong ipakilala sa yo tong 3 tao na tinutukoy ko...

1. Bad boy na may ambisyon sa buhay


When we were in highschool, this guy is my schoolmate..one of the bad boys of our school..guys never dared na makipag-away sa group nila...Hindi ko siya crush nung highschool, u know when ko lang siya naging crush? when we were in college..no we were not schoolmates when we were in college, nakakasabay ko lang sa FX going to LRT. Namukhaan nya ko and then we started talking to each other. I never thought that this guy is a gentleman, and with an ambition in life, sarap kasama. When I went to Pampanga (dun yung area nya), he welcomed me and showed me to his place, we drank beer, we had fun and good laugh. He is the #1 medical representative in their group. Ang feeling ko nasa isang feel-good movie ako, he's the jock and i'm just the ordinary girl..No, he's not my boyfriend, but I would love to be his girlfriend..Akala ko siya yung isa sa mga tao nung high school na magiging patapon ang buhay niya but it turned out the other way..and I'm so proud of him..

2. Bad boy na hindi matino kausap?


This guy is my schoolmate in Ateneo Graduate School of Business...yes, I'm taking up my masterals there...Hindi ko pa nakikilala ng maigi tong taong na to pero lagi kaming nagkukulitan sa ym or sa text or kapag nagkikita kami sa school. Taga-navy eto, hehe, i love men in uniform. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ko siya nagustuhan, siguro pa-shy type siya? hindi naman siya sobrang guwapo, hindi nga siya matangkad eh, hindi siya stunning, i really don't know why I like this guy...Kaso di niya ata ako type eh, may type siyang iba...I know why, kasi hindi ako demure, hindi ako patweetums...although I can say that I have the personality...sana kung yung mga lalaki eh tumitingin na lang sa personality ng girls hindi sa mukha...

3. Goodie-goodie boy

He's the guy in red...true-blue atenean...he's good looking, intelligent, may sense of humor, siya na ata ang ideal guy for me...at first he looks really snobbish...na hindi ko siya ma-reach kasi atenean siya from highschool, college, until graduate studies...but when i had the chance to go on an outing with my classmates (including him), dun ko lang nalaman na makuwento pala siya...na mabait siya, na humble siya...but of course i wouldn't expect that he'll like me cause he's too good-looking for me..

Sila yung 3 taong pang-pedestal ko...nakakatawa pero totoo...

God is good....all the time

"God is good...all the time"

I have seen this in a Born-again Christian building near our house...and tonight, I have again proven that God is really good...just this morning i am crying because i'm so scared...i don't want to do the same thing again...while i was crying, i was talking to Him...begging for His help...i went to Mass early this evening as it was a weekly tradition for my family to go to Mass and i begged for His help there...I have my own deepest darkest secret you know...only one of my best friend and God knows about it...and i don't want to go thru that phase again....after we went to Mass and had dinner, i got my answers already!!!

God is really good...after me and boyfriend broke up last year, it was really hell for me...i have been a rebel...i have been a mistress...i have neglected Him...and I have asked for His forgiveness and made ammends with Him...

Now, i'm trying my best to make it up to Him...God is good...all the time...

How I wish I could go back to highschool...carefree and innocent...nothing to think about, only seatworks and assignments and your crush...I remember when I was in highschool, the perception of having a boyfriend is very sweet and innocent...sex is out of the question...holding hands, a peck on the cheek, or even your first kiss is enough to have butterflies on your stomach...I realized that as you mature, having a relationship with the opposite sex would mean having intimate relationship and that includes sex...sex is like a common word on every relationship...

Generation right now is definitely different during my time...I can hear news that a 13 year old girl is pregnant, sex here, sex there, sex everywhere...even teenagers do it! When I was in highschool, I don't even know what sex means! After school, I would just play around with my classmates...There was this one instance, while I was waiting for my ride, I saw 2 teenage couples going out of a motel still in their uniforms! Oh my gosh!

I know this is crazy, you can laugh all you want, but I lost my virginity when I was 26 years old, call it a late bloomer, loser, whatever, I call it being emotionally ready for sex. Sex for me is not a game, a man or a woman should do it not because of lust or they simply love each other, I think a person should be ready emotionally if they have decided to do it..they should be ready for the consequences that may await them..

Maybe I'm just being conservative...

Penny for my thoughts...

27 days to go

The countdown continues...27 more days to bear and I'm completely free...However, my bosses from Singapore has arrived today and they will be staying here for 1 week...So that'll be a week of hell for me. Starting tomorrow, I'm their official driver...Sometimes I can't help but think that my colleague is just exaggerating her pregnancy...All our meetings for the week are all her clients! And I will be joining them because I'm their official driver. Ok fine, I'm bad I know..It's just that there's no threat with her pregnancy, she's 5 months pregnant already..she can drive herself to work, she doesn't vomit at all (compared to her first few months of pregnancy), I can see that there's nothing wrong with her at all. I think she's just making lame excuses so that she will not drive her fucking car! I mean if she doesn't want to drive then she should hire a driver! That's what I did when I was hospitalized and I can't drive at all.

I know I'm being childish and all, i just can't help but complain...for 3 years I've been bearing it. I don't even know that kind of patience exists in my body!

Oh man! I have to sleep now, cause I have to get up at fucking 5am in the morning because I have to fetch my bosses from their fucking hotel! Arrrgh! Just thinking about it makes me want to scream..

30 days to go...

The countdown continues...30 more days to go...I have already sent my resignation letter to our Singapore office yesterday but since it is a public holiday today in Singapore, I will be able to know their reactions tomorrow..

Resigning can be difficult...I think its saying goodbye to your colleagues...I really hate saying goodbye to a friend, lover and most especially to my family...My heart just breaks...

That's all for now, I think I'm gonna cry for a little...

34 days to go

I will be tendering my resignation on the 30th of May 2007...

That'll be 34 more days of career suffering...

I have to bear the remaining 34 days because I only have 4 1/2 days of annual leave...Every year I am given only 7 days annual leave (what the???!). It's a long list of complaints but what the hell, I will be resigning anyway...

Well, for 3 years I have learned a lot...being employed in this company tested my patience...a lot! I've never thought I had this kind of patience. It also improved my sales skills...I'm grateful that when I entered this company, it increased my salary by 100% and now I am able to bargain my salary to another 100%...

It's just that if you're not happy with your co-worker and the management, even if the salary is very attractive, I might as well leave the company and look for another one...

Anyway, this will be my official countdown....34 more days to go..

Mahal ko pa din siya hanggang ngayon. Naiinis ako sa sarili ko kasi ilang buwan na yung nakalipas simula ng malaman kong niloko niya ako. Is it because I was serious and committed with the relationship? Sabi nga ng mga kaibigan ko...Ibang level na to! Gustong gusto ko siyang balikan kahit na ako ang nadehado pero kapag naiisip ko na he cheated me behind my back (I was so damn clueless), napapaisip ako, is it worth it? Is it worth it to try again? Hindi ba kapag binalikan ko siya eh magiging paranoid lang ako forever which would definitely ruin our relationship?

In fairness, talaga namang napaka-bait nya, no questions asked. For almost 2 years, I dominated him. Sabi ng mga friends ko, under ko daw siya (not in a bad way of course). Napapaisip nga ako eh, kung ang Diyos eh marunong magpatawad, ako pa kaya? Kaya ko bang tanggapin na niloko niya ko nung mga panahon na bumigay siya sa temptasyon? Sa trabaho ko, marami akong nakikilalang mga lalake pero kahit na alam kong pwede akong makipag-fling sa kanila eh hindi ko ginawa. Iniisip ko pa lang na lokohin siya eh inaalis ko na siya sa isipan ko kasi alam ko na masasaktan ko lang yung taong mahal ko. Hindi pala lahat ng tao ay pare-pareho ang tingin pagdating sa love.

Mahal ko pa din siya pero maraming mga tanong ang dapat sagutin:

1. Kaya mo pa bang mahalin siya tulad ng pagmamahal mo dati?
2. Kaya mo bang ibalik ang trust mo sa kanya?
3. Kaya mo bang maging martyr kapag ginawa niya ulit na lokohin ka?
4. Kaya mo bang hindi siya sumbatan sa dating pangloloko na ginawa niya sa yo?
5. At eto ang pinakaimportanteng tanong sa lahat: Kaya mo bang tanggapin kapag nalaman mong HINDI KA NA NIYA MAHAL?

Naiiyak ako...Naiinis ako sa sarili ko! Gusto ko syang balikan! Pero pinipigilan ako ng pride ko! Gusto kong lunurin ang sarili ko sa trabaho para hindi ko siya maisip. Gusto kong matulog ng sobrang tagal para pag-gising ko mawawala na lang yung nararamdaman ko para sa kanya. Gusto kong i-fast forward ang buhay ko para makilala ko yung lalaking magmamahal sa kin ng lubos. Gusto kong takasan lahat ng nararamdaman ko ngayon..

I am so productive today!!! Woohoo!!! I have managed to finish our group reporting (damn those groupmates!) and our assignment as well. My adnrenaline rush doesn't seem to want to stop that's why I ended up blogging.

I don't know if it is psychological but whenever I light my cigarette and turn on my ever-reliable IPOD, I seem to enter a brainstorming mood...my mind starts to work and I start typing away like crazy!

Oh okay, I don't look somewhat like the picture above....I looked exactly the opposite...I'm working with only my undergarments on (cause its so freaking hot!!!!), cigarette on my left hand, earphones stucked on my ears with a lot of documents scattered on my table!

Well, it doesn't matter what you look like as long as you get your work done! Really don't care! I'm soooo productive today!!!!!

Sales Manager...

I have waited for this opportunity for a very long time and guess what???? Officially, I'm the SALES MANAGER for Philippine office of our supplier! Isn't that great or what??? I am not really expecting this position, well I know that I will be pirated by our supplier but to tell you honestly, I am not really expecting that I will be picked as the Sales Manager.

This is really a blessing for me...For several months, I felt frustrated because there's nothing happening to my career. Now I believe in the saying that "If a door closes on you, another one opens". When my boyfriend broke up with me last year, I felt that everything was taken from me...I'm sad and depressed, I'm not happy with my job and colleague, my friends were being assigned to a far away island, big problem arises, the list goes on and on...

I've always said to my friends that everything happens for a reason...now I really understand what it meant...I don't have to question the guy "up there" why it all happened to me, I just have to trust Him that another opportunity will come my way and I just have to be patient..

I am really thankful for everything....YIPEEEE!!!!!

This is so true...

Your Personality is Very Rare (ESTP)

Your personality type is dominant, driven, poised, and self-aware. Only about 5% of all people have your personality, including 3% of all women and 6% of all men You are Extroverted, Sensing, Thinking, and Perceiving.

Sleepless in Parañaque..

It's 1:35am and I can't sleep...I've finished my assignment in Managerial Accounting...I've updated my Ipod...I've watched lame movies shown on cable..I've checked my mail...I don't know what to do next...Oh okay! I've got a lot of things to do and I'm just putting it up until tomorrow...

Come to think of it, there are a lot of things that I should do to my life...I've been bad....and I say real bad...I have my deepest darkest secret and I really need to straighten my life...Here's my to-do list to clean up my act...

1. Ammend my relationship with my friend "up there". Now I believe in the saying: "If a door closes on you, another one opens". All along I thought He's taken all from me, I don't know the reason why but there's no need to ask why...just got to trust what He's doing.
2. I've got to lessen my bitchyness...I just got to be more kind to others...
3. I've got to be contented with what I have right now..stop with the greedy-ness!!!!
4. I have to lessen my vices (list of vices/luho: lacoste bags, capri, alcohol, high-tech gadgets, etc, etc...the list goes on and on) - Simple living is the key...
5. I've got to donate some of my earnings...but not in a boastful kind of way of course! in a anonymous kind of way is the way to go...While I was having coffee at Starbucks, I saw this brochure regarding SparkHope, education for the kids...guess I'll start with that.
6. I have to make sure that everyday, I have to do kind deeds...doesn't have to be grand or something...(e.g. be more kind to wanna-be bitches out there

Well, that's some of the few things I have in mind...got to think of more though. Now the key here is to do all of it, not in one day though...one small step at a time and I'll be fine..

Brandon Boyd...

lead singer of the band Incubus...isn't he hot?????? well, that's only an added factor, what I really like about him is his voice of course...and his eyes, and lips, and his tattoos....ok! I like everything about brandon boyd! Don't get me wrong, I'm not an obsessed fan ok? I don't want to be obsessed, I know myself, don't want to go to that stage..


I saw this guy sang in a concert in MTV and damn he sings from his heart...Based on the picture above, he is really passionate whenever he sings...Other lead vocals just shouts whenever they sing, its very irritating sometimes...

My all-time favorite Incubus song is Wish You Were Here...A love song version of an alternative rock band (well, I think they are alternative)...What I really like about Incubus' music is that it's not too loud...All their songs have meanings that they want to share with their listeners...Another favorite is Drive (the accoustic version)...and one of their recent song which is Make A Move (which was featured in the movie Stealth) and Dig...oh yeah, another favorite of mine is from their previous album and the song title is Warning...Incubus songs were about life, love and politics...I think their song Megolamaniac is about politics if I'm not mistaken...

Okay, enough about their music...check out this brandon boyd pic...no explanations needed...this guy is # 1 on my hot guys list...how I wish I could be the lips of brandon boyd on this pic...so he could bite me anytime he wants!!!! hahahaha! pervert!!


Damn!!! I was browsing thru the net for brandon boyd pics and when I saw this one...I just know that I've got to have this pic. Call me pervert, I really don't care...Is this picture sexy or what???? Well, first look on the pic I'm sure it's hot and sexy, but when I took a second look, looks kinda gayish to me...but I'll take my first impression on the pic, SEXY...SEXY...SEXY...Just looking at his pic makes me want to have a sexy time with brandon boyd...hahahaha!

MAY 14....

is the local election day here in the Philippines. Not really excited about it though, i don't know who I am going to vote for senator.. Philippines is known for corrupt politicians, well in my opinion, all politicians are the same, they are all corrupt, so might as well vote for the candidate who is the most decent and smart looking...

I have conversed with an ordinary security guard while I'm having a cigarette break, and we have talked about the elections...He said that he will be voting for those candidates who are young and smart...because these young candidates are more aggressive than those veteran candidates..

So far, I'll be voting for these candidates:


Manny Villar...when I was in college, this guy went to our school to have a seminar regarding entrepreneurship, and I can say that this guy has CHARMS. He walked inside the room and all students stopped chatting and was silenced by his aura. Well, he is an ENTREPRENEUR, and he had the right to talk about entrepreneurship. His business is real estate and I think he owns LAS PIñAS because of his housing business. He was not born from a well-off family, he started from scratch and all his money (which is in billions, real estate alone) were earned from his own sweat and hardwork. I like this guy, I don't think he'll be robbing the country's money because his great great great great grand children will survive and will be living an luxurious life with his existing assets.

Chiz Escudero...young, smart and aggressive...have seen this guy on a local TV debate show for senators and I can say that he really stood out on the crowd...he answered the host's questions with brief, concise and straight to the point answers unlike those veterans who likes to spin their answers around (not getting the point really!) I was really impressed...one sure vote for this guy...

Alan Peter Cayetano...son of the former senator Renato Cayetano..I saw this guy on the local news exposing the first gentleman's dirty transactions involving the president's savings in Germany...very brave and feisty!! maybe he's got bright plans for the country, I hope..



Noynoy Aquino...son of the late Ninoy Aquino and former president Cory Aquino (and brother of the famous host Kris Aquino, hehehe)...this guy is smart, you can tell from his looks, hehehe...nerdy enough for me...I don't think this guy is corrupt, I don't know why but I've got a good feeling on this guy so I'll be voting him...

Wow! out of the 36 candidates, I'll be voting only 4...what a pity...I don't want to vote for those artists who are wannabe senators...one good reason: they do not know about politics! Even a lawyer-senator is having a hard time passing a law here in the Philippines, then tell me how can an ordinary-good looking artist can pass a law??? Are they gonna smile on their fellow senators???

Well, that's about it for the mean time...

I really need to stop smoking...

Saw the picture? 95% of the consumed cigarettes were all me...the remaining 5% were from my friend..and it was consumed on one sitting...talk about chain smoking...

If I were to save my money instead of buying packs of cigarette, I would have saved a lot (take note I'm smoking an imported brand so its more expensive than the local ones)..

Come to think of it...smoking helped me a lot...cigarettes were my friend whenever I'm stressed out or when I'm on a brainstorming mood...If my friends walked out on me, my "buddy" pack wouldn't do that to me.I worked more efficiently if there's a stick of cigarette in my mouth.Whenever I'm sleepy while I'm driving, my buddy is my companion.Is it psychological? I really don't know...

I made a pact that after I give birth to my very first child then I would stop smoking...I'm not yet pregnant so might as well treasure the precious times whenever I smoke..hahaha

SOS

Let's just say I'm not really a techy-kind of person...I saw one blog a while ago (from French Toast Girl) and I love her blog! I would really love to customize the template of my blog but I'm so clueless...I've managed to add a site meter and a tagboard but that's all...

Anyone out there! please help!!!

Summer Getaway - Boracay 2007

Well, okay, i'm back from my summer vacation, actually I returned 2 weeks ago but I was so damn busy with my work (that's what you get for filing a vacation leave for 4 days). anyway, enough with my complaints...i'll show you actual pictures of boracay (for those people out there who haven't been to Philippines)


Okay, I didn't give justice to Boracay...pardon me but I just took it using a camera phone and the sun was blazing hot so I just clicked the camera without seeing the actual view...here's another picture...


There you go...nice huh? of course, i'm not a professional photographer so I really wasn't able to catch the real beauty of Boracay, the place is much nicer compared to photos..

I just bummed out the whole 4 days I was there..my friend and I hanged out on the beach drinking mango shakes and playing cards and of course watching the people who passes us by (that includes admiring and insulting their wardrobes and swimwear, haha). There are a lot of water activities to do in Bora but for some reason I was so lazy to do it, just need to relax I guess..Okay, take a look at those tanned-skinned guys, I don't know but for some reason, they wanted to do some jogging exercises under the sun's blazing rays (hope they don't get heat stroke or something...)

Some of the activities that you can do in Bora are banana boat ride, parasailing, snorkeling, diving, island hopping, "paraw" sailing (I participated on this activity, the best!) and of course the night life! Clubbing is the best at Bora, you don't have to dress well unlike when you go clubbing in Manila.Here, you can go clubbing wearing your bikini or something (of course! because clubs are located beside the beach!). and they use pillows as chairs and japanese tables with candle light in the middle of the table so the place is so comfy and relaxing...one thing I observed though, night life starts really late maybe around 11pm onwards (until 5am i think), so for 3 nights we went clubbing, hahaha!

However, the travel going to Boracay can be tiring..First, there's a 55 minutes travel (via plane) going to Kalibo airport, and then there's another van ride for almost 2 hours going to Jetti port and then another 15 minutes boat ride going to the island and lastly a 10 minutes tricycle ride going to the hotel (the time depends on the station you are checked in of course). But I think there's a shorter way if you ride a plane via Sea Air because its straight to Catiklan airport (travel time was shortened by 2 hours cause you don't have to ride a van) however the plane is quite small.

Anyway, in general, my summer vacation was okay...I would love to go back to Bora maybe during off-peak season so it'll be more cheaper and there will be less tourists, so I can enjoy the place and relax better.

BORACAY...yeah baby yeah!!!!

Today will be the last day of hell for me...for tomorrow i'll go to BORACAY!!!! It is considered as the summer beach capital in the Philippines...Known for its white sands, clear water and of course..an exciting and fun night life! I'll be staying there for 4 days and 3 nights...I'll be leaving all my problems in Manila and i'll think of nothing but the beach!


Hmmm...well actually it'll be my first time to Boracay that's the reason why I am so damn excited. I feel like a little girl who wants to open her gift under the christmas tree. After encountering so many problems and sadness i think i deserve to have a break and leave them all away..even for just 4 days..


Ha! See that picture??? Clear water...i think i'll go snorkeling...i want to see fishes and coral reefs...hopefully, there will be no sharks...hehehe...after that, i'll go sun bathing, i dont care if my skin would get dark, the hell with white skin! now is the right time to have a sun tan, hahaha...and then i think i'll have a massage...and then i'll relax in the late afternoon to prepare myself for non-stop night life! beer, booze, music, dancing, whatever. man! i can't get over my excitement!

Injured but so excited for my holiday!

I was injured since Saturday and it all started with a vein..I was on my way to Makati for their midnight sale when I observed that there's "ipit na ugat" on my right wrist. Thinking that it was only a small injury, I just shrugged the pain and didn't do nothing at all..when I woke up the next day, Man! it was swollen and it hurt like hell! (not that I've been to hell take note), every minute movement hurts my wrist and I have to swear all day. I didn't ask my maid to massage it (to relieve the tension on my vein) because I know that it would swell...unfortunately, even if I didn't touch it, it would have the same effect...arrgh! I have been doing my work and personal activities using one hand! even typing (imagine typing a blog for an hour!!!!)

The problem is, my boss from Malaysia will be visiting to settle some issues with our client and I have to drive them around Makati and Lipa Batangas! I have to drive using my left hand! Thank God for automatic cars!! I am hoping they will show pity and let me off for 2 days, hehe...how I wish!

I have to manage my time as I have an assignment at accounting, and then i have to drive my bosses around, and I have to pack my things for my summer get-away...in BORACAY!!!! yahoo!!!

The only thing that keeps me going is Boracay! I'm so excited, I shopped for my beach wear, a two- piece bathing suit and a tankini...Well, i'm not sexy but there's a saying...NO GUTS NO GLORY! It'll be only 4 days and 3 nights and no one knows me there so...it's two-piece bathing suit for me, hahaha, of course i have to wear a sando or anything to hide my tummy...


Of course my body is not like the picture above (how I wish!!!) but ill be wearing that kind of two-piece suit, hihihi...I'm really excited because it is my first time to go there and I think the night life there is so much fun...i won't be thinking of guys first, i'll just make sure that i'll enjoy my stay there (yeah, right..whatever!)

20 something crisis

I remember reading a forwarded email regarding the "20 something crisis" or I simply call it the "yuppie crisis". This is what's happening to me right now. I have a high paying job but I am still not happy with the way things are going...

First, I am not happy with my colleague. As a friend, she is really great. Hands up to her. But as a supervisor, I do not like the way she runs things in the office. Her idea of being a supervisor is to give ALL her work to me. I'm a sales executive, secretary, messenger, name it I do it all. I even ran errands for her personal stuff! Pay her credit cards and all. Yes I know partly I am to blame because I can not say NO to her.

I am still trying to look for another company but luck is not with me. I am qualified but they can not match my existing compensation package! My sister tells me to be patient but I really wanted to resigned from this company. I wouldn't want to resign if there's no replacement work yet though.

I feel alone as my apparently so-called true friends is not what they seem to be...true. One of my best friends picked a guy over me! After what I have done to her, proving that I am a true friend to her. Its not because I'm making "sumbat" or anything, its just that when I needed her most, she was not there for me. When she was dumped by her boyfriend before she delivered her baby, I was there beside her bed. I was there when she needs a shoulder to cry on. Maybe it depends on the individual if she prioritizes friends over guys. I for one give more importance to my friends and family over guys. Family and friends are always there for me but for guys...they come and go. They were only there during my happy moments but for my darkest days, my friends were always there.

Last year, my ex-boyfriend cheated on me. I gave him my life, my time, everything...because I was serious with him...as a return, he cheated behind my back...It's really hard for me, until now I have not moved on..My brain tells me that I'm moving on with my life but my heart screams out that I still love him in spite of what he did to me. There were nights where I desperately wanted to call him and beg him to come back but it was a good thing that pride always takes over. I am 27 years old and as much as possible, I want my next relationship to be the last one. Every time I see young couples with babies, I really can't help but to secretly cry. I'm jealous because they are happy..I am in the right age to marry. I even pictured my ex-boyfriend to be the father of my children...As usual, luck is not on my side...

Every night I ask myself if I would be able to surpass all this. I always ask myself if I am strong enough to deal with this. Come to think of it, its not a big problem really compared to the less fortunate people but I feel like the weight of the world is on me..My faith is being questioned now. Do I have a strong relationship with the Lord? If I have faith in Him, why am I questioning what's been happening to me? It came to a point that I was angry with Him and I hate myself for that.

Sometimes I wish that the earth would swallow me whole so I could forget about my problems..Sometimes I wish I could be in an accident and I would be comatose for a month so I could just lay down in bed thinking about nothing..If I only have money so I could get out of the country and leave everything behind...I'm thinking and wishing about all these because I AM A FUCKING COWARD!!!

1 March 2007 - Mind in Turmoil

I've been to hell and back these past few months...I can be compared to the "Baudelaire kids" because I have experienced a series of unfortunate events...My mind is in turmoil right now, I don't know if I'm experiencing mid-life crisis, what the hell?! I'm only on my mid-20's.

I am PRESSURED and STRESSED OUT with my work. I have a high-paying job but I'm not happy. I'm REALLY trying to look for another company but they can not match my existing compensation package! I'm a College graduate with MBA units...I am qualified but competition is so tough...Sometimes, I want to put the blame on our economy, if the economy is not terrible then a lot of companies will invest here, therefore, a lot of job vacancies.I'm so sick and tired of my work...***sigh***

My lovelife SUCKS bigtime! I just broke up with my deceitful ex-boyfriend who cheated on me. May he and his girl ROT IN HELL for all I care!

Why do I feel like hell??? I feel that I'm the blacksheep in my family..My sister's career is sky-rocketing high! And I am here at the bottom, still waiting for the right opportunity to pass by..My friends...I realized that some of them were just using me...

I feel so alone...How I wish I could have peace of mind, even just for 5 minutes! Well, I would appreciate it if it's more than 5 minutes...Sometimes, I want to retreat to a very secluded beach, where no one knows me and no one can find me...Just lie on the sand, drink margaritas, watch the sunset, listen to musice..I can do whatever I want, I can flirt with anyone, I can be myself...whatever!