Pedestal...

Sabi ng mga guy friends ko, may 2 categories daw ang mga babae..pang-seryosohan at pang-kama..

Para sa akin, may 2 categories din ang mga lalaki...pang-pedestal at pang-kama...

Sa 27 na taon na kong nabubuhay dito sa mundong to, 3 lalaki pa lang ang trinato kong pedestal...Kapag sinabi kong pang-pedestal, eto yung kapag nakikita ko sila ndi ko sila pinag-iisipan ng masama. As in yung feeling ko is high-school crush ko sila. Kapag nakikita ko sila, mag-hi or hello lang sila sa kin eh sobrang kinikilig na ko. Ni hindi ko sila pinag-iisipan na nagki-kiss kami or nag-mamake love. Pure and innocent admiration talaga. Hindi ko alam na pwede pa palang mangyari sa kin eto akala ko pang-highschool lang...gusto kong ipakilala sa yo tong 3 tao na tinutukoy ko...

1. Bad boy na may ambisyon sa buhay


When we were in highschool, this guy is my schoolmate..one of the bad boys of our school..guys never dared na makipag-away sa group nila...Hindi ko siya crush nung highschool, u know when ko lang siya naging crush? when we were in college..no we were not schoolmates when we were in college, nakakasabay ko lang sa FX going to LRT. Namukhaan nya ko and then we started talking to each other. I never thought that this guy is a gentleman, and with an ambition in life, sarap kasama. When I went to Pampanga (dun yung area nya), he welcomed me and showed me to his place, we drank beer, we had fun and good laugh. He is the #1 medical representative in their group. Ang feeling ko nasa isang feel-good movie ako, he's the jock and i'm just the ordinary girl..No, he's not my boyfriend, but I would love to be his girlfriend..Akala ko siya yung isa sa mga tao nung high school na magiging patapon ang buhay niya but it turned out the other way..and I'm so proud of him..

2. Bad boy na hindi matino kausap?


This guy is my schoolmate in Ateneo Graduate School of Business...yes, I'm taking up my masterals there...Hindi ko pa nakikilala ng maigi tong taong na to pero lagi kaming nagkukulitan sa ym or sa text or kapag nagkikita kami sa school. Taga-navy eto, hehe, i love men in uniform. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ko siya nagustuhan, siguro pa-shy type siya? hindi naman siya sobrang guwapo, hindi nga siya matangkad eh, hindi siya stunning, i really don't know why I like this guy...Kaso di niya ata ako type eh, may type siyang iba...I know why, kasi hindi ako demure, hindi ako patweetums...although I can say that I have the personality...sana kung yung mga lalaki eh tumitingin na lang sa personality ng girls hindi sa mukha...

3. Goodie-goodie boy

He's the guy in red...true-blue atenean...he's good looking, intelligent, may sense of humor, siya na ata ang ideal guy for me...at first he looks really snobbish...na hindi ko siya ma-reach kasi atenean siya from highschool, college, until graduate studies...but when i had the chance to go on an outing with my classmates (including him), dun ko lang nalaman na makuwento pala siya...na mabait siya, na humble siya...but of course i wouldn't expect that he'll like me cause he's too good-looking for me..

Sila yung 3 taong pang-pedestal ko...nakakatawa pero totoo...

God is good....all the time

"God is good...all the time"

I have seen this in a Born-again Christian building near our house...and tonight, I have again proven that God is really good...just this morning i am crying because i'm so scared...i don't want to do the same thing again...while i was crying, i was talking to Him...begging for His help...i went to Mass early this evening as it was a weekly tradition for my family to go to Mass and i begged for His help there...I have my own deepest darkest secret you know...only one of my best friend and God knows about it...and i don't want to go thru that phase again....after we went to Mass and had dinner, i got my answers already!!!

God is really good...after me and boyfriend broke up last year, it was really hell for me...i have been a rebel...i have been a mistress...i have neglected Him...and I have asked for His forgiveness and made ammends with Him...

Now, i'm trying my best to make it up to Him...God is good...all the time...

How I wish I could go back to highschool...carefree and innocent...nothing to think about, only seatworks and assignments and your crush...I remember when I was in highschool, the perception of having a boyfriend is very sweet and innocent...sex is out of the question...holding hands, a peck on the cheek, or even your first kiss is enough to have butterflies on your stomach...I realized that as you mature, having a relationship with the opposite sex would mean having intimate relationship and that includes sex...sex is like a common word on every relationship...

Generation right now is definitely different during my time...I can hear news that a 13 year old girl is pregnant, sex here, sex there, sex everywhere...even teenagers do it! When I was in highschool, I don't even know what sex means! After school, I would just play around with my classmates...There was this one instance, while I was waiting for my ride, I saw 2 teenage couples going out of a motel still in their uniforms! Oh my gosh!

I know this is crazy, you can laugh all you want, but I lost my virginity when I was 26 years old, call it a late bloomer, loser, whatever, I call it being emotionally ready for sex. Sex for me is not a game, a man or a woman should do it not because of lust or they simply love each other, I think a person should be ready emotionally if they have decided to do it..they should be ready for the consequences that may await them..

Maybe I'm just being conservative...

Penny for my thoughts...

27 days to go

The countdown continues...27 more days to bear and I'm completely free...However, my bosses from Singapore has arrived today and they will be staying here for 1 week...So that'll be a week of hell for me. Starting tomorrow, I'm their official driver...Sometimes I can't help but think that my colleague is just exaggerating her pregnancy...All our meetings for the week are all her clients! And I will be joining them because I'm their official driver. Ok fine, I'm bad I know..It's just that there's no threat with her pregnancy, she's 5 months pregnant already..she can drive herself to work, she doesn't vomit at all (compared to her first few months of pregnancy), I can see that there's nothing wrong with her at all. I think she's just making lame excuses so that she will not drive her fucking car! I mean if she doesn't want to drive then she should hire a driver! That's what I did when I was hospitalized and I can't drive at all.

I know I'm being childish and all, i just can't help but complain...for 3 years I've been bearing it. I don't even know that kind of patience exists in my body!

Oh man! I have to sleep now, cause I have to get up at fucking 5am in the morning because I have to fetch my bosses from their fucking hotel! Arrrgh! Just thinking about it makes me want to scream..